Whoa whoa whoa. You want me to go dancing sober? Sober? You mean without intoxicants? How will I stand in long drink lines? Who will I drunkenly battle for the last roll of toilet paper? When that hottie from across the bar sees me staring, how can they know it's game time if I'm not all flushed with booze? Actually ... this sober dancing thing is starting to sound alright. What time did you say it starts?

[Applini's Two Clean and Sober Club, Sober dance with live DJ, starts at 9 p.m., $2 cover, 1015 N. Meridian, Puyallup, 253.604.4307]