In every issue of this fine rag my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then - if we're doing our job - we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least gives you something better to do than secretly Facebook stalk everyone you slept with in college.
Enjoy. - Matt Driscoll
It doesn't get much more frontier than Lakewood. We should know - the Volcano's offices are in the thick of it. For those of you who stay safely in Tacoma, let us paint a picture. It's like Yellowstone, Jellystone and Keith Stone all mixed together in the back of a scrap metal truck out here. It's nature as god intended, with several Subways and plenty of available strip-mall retail space.
It's no wonder wildlife of all kinds is attracted to Lakewood. It's got everything an animal could need.
Which is why we, at least, weren't surprised when a black bear, estimated to be between 3 and 4 years old and weigh 230-270 pounds, was captured by Washington State Fish & Wildlife agents last Friday - after making impromptu appearances in Lakewood throughout the week.
According to a post by Stacy Mulick on The News Tribune's "Lights & Sirens" crime blog, State Fish & Wildlife agents finally captured the bear at about 9:30 a.m. Friday after a six-hour chase in the area surrounding Tyee Park Elementary School. The pursuit began around 1:30 a.m., when Lakewood police were notified that a bear was running around the neighborhood. Officers who responded reported seeing the bear hopping through backyards and climbing fences.
Mulick goes on to report that an officer from State Fish & Wildlife arrived on the scene at about 3 a.m., and was able to shoot the bear with a tranquilizer dart at about 5:40 a.m. while the animal was in a residential backyard. However, it wasn't enough to stop the bear, as the now slightly-sedated beast lumbered on.
As the bear tracking continued, morning light finally broke. At about 8:30 a.m. an aircraft with the Washington State Patrol joined the effort. Nearby, school was commencing at Tyee Park Elementary. The Trib reports that extra staff members were visible as students arrived, and although school started on time, morning recess was cancelled.
The precautions were well-founded. State Fish & Wildlife Sgt. Ted Jackson tells The Trib the bear was spotted next to Tyee Park Elementary sometime between 8:40-8:50 a.m. Mulick's account says the bear was again pinned against a fence and shot with a tranquilizer dart, and once again was able to fight off the drugs and continue - walking through the Tyee Park playground while attempting to get away. Surveillance continued from above.
Finally, as the bear walked along railroad tracks in the Clover Creek area the drugs started taking effect on the animal. According to Jackson tells The Trib, agents were able to trap the bear between a train trestle and Bridgeport Way and shoot him with a third dart at about 9:30 a.m.
This final shot KO'd the beast, with agents moving in to check the bear and remove the darts before loading him onto a trailer headed for the Cascade Mountains. - Boo-Boo, Bear Related Crime Correspondent